Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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