I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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