Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize