The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
