I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
