Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
