p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
