I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
