i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize