If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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