Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
