When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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