blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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