Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Operation Purity has been aborted
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
