ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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