Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Randomize
