Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
