Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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