This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
