Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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