I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
