As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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