Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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