I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Sext me about skeletons
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
