Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
