wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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