I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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