Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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