well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
