wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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