i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
