would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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