so explain again why im purple
no
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
