Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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