Sry I called you an 8
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
