That's intense
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
