I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
