I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
