I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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