did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
It was confusing and full of hummus
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
