You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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