I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
