He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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