How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
