OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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