I cockslap morals
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I stole a fireplace last night.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
