I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize