I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
