Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize