I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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