They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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