We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
