I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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