She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
