After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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