she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
