bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
