when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
