so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize